你拉我拉， 你拉我拉， 一二拉。。。
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ramblings
written on Friday, August 28, 2009 @ 9:06 AM ✈
some people asked me. well i shall still say the same thing. i maintain my stand regarding areas of interest. accepting a certain role may not mean i'm going to enjoy or feel much towards it. it's just for the sake of the people around. doesn't mean that i don't say anything means i will love it. if that's what's going through your head, then most probably you are wrong. i'm just still frustrated even though some time has gone by. i will do it, but i don't think it will be with passion or interest at all. for some cases, you follow through my stand but for mine, you do it the opposite way. i don't know what is going through your mind, really.. and the place i go everyday is filled with biasedness. i really detest it. when i see things happening the way they are, i feel really uncomfortable. why do the adults who guide us everyday show us such values? it makes me feel that there's no point focusing or sticking to what's right by common sense. the environment is really changing me, i'm not able to get back to the past, to who i was anymore. it's really something that is ke xi. other than that, i somehow feel that people always do things that doesn't make sense. one gets deprived of a chance because of someone doing things that doesn't make sense. i feel a little angry and/or i'm going to leave it alone mood. it's really really frustrating. 0 comment[s] | back to topwritten on Monday, August 3, 2009 @ 1:18 PM ✈
wow new week, so many things has happened. well last week. ohh i saw shiyun ma'am and yeelin ma'am, talked to yeelin ma'am about POP. fell sick shortly because of lack of sleep. i had to do extra for physics sia because nicole's mic screwed up. so the video i did the animation itself (toughh work) and voiceovers myself. slept at 2am, plus all the lack of sleep i had. because no one expected her mic to spoil right! so yahh sigh. i planned to sleep at 12am, but everything dragged on lor. my parents said i keep staying up late. so sick yep. the day where we were supposed to slowmarch and stuff, well, they changed the slowmarch people. i shall not say much about structure. but i'm having super mixed feelings. when people ask if i'm fine, i can't answer for sure either. sometimes im telling myself to look on the bright side but it seems like lying. but again, it isn't that bad. i guess right. i don't know, but yes, there is a sense of disappointment. could see how sqdms were like when they came home. well it's sunday now, i guess i should be calm right. but sigh. it's a bit weirdd still. i can't say i'm calm and balanced already. i'm still feeling imbalanced. it kind of hurts a bit sometimes when you think. i'm willing to take anything that comes and do a great job, but i'm not sure if i will like what i got, because it may not be what i wanted in the first place. i'm afraid to have a lack of passion. because with passion everything goes well right. but once everything becomes a ding ju, i cannot get involved in what i used to be doing for squad stuff, we are constricted in that sense. it's a sense of lostness, a bit. it's like a sudden gush of wind, then you realised things have changed. you may be doing a spectrum of things in the past, but now you can't any longer. that makes me feel sad. as people say na de qi fang de xia. yeah, it sounds really easy. half of me wants to follow it and the other half doesn't. i really hope that i can still do things like before, even though the chance is very low. i'm admiring those who got jobs who can still actively participate in that spectrum of things that they can do. blocks are so near, shouldn't be affected by this. still struggling with my emotions. some sort of battle inside. oh i had this thing stuck in my head a bit. hmm i guess we must learn to feel more towards one another, sometimes we are a little selfcentred. okay i just hope things will change for the better, but really we should not just care for ourselves. (this was drafted at 8plus, and now i'm just ending off yep), jiayou for blocks to all. and maybe one day when i read this again, i'll feel something different. 0 comment[s] | back to top |