你拉我拉， 你拉我拉， 一二拉。。。
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Figuring things out...
written on Tuesday, December 23, 2014 @ 2:07 PM ✈
What have I done lately? Not much actually, just reading articles and books online. Mockingjay in text is really powerful in my opinion, but I have yet to watch the actual movie yet. All the what-ifs that run through my head as a result of reading it. How nice it would be to get the whole series in paperback version. I think Katniss manages to stay true to herself despite all the chaos, and her courage despite all those adversities inspires me. And I read Ellen Degeneres' Seriously...I'm Kidding (note the punctuations, she actually manages to keep it consistent throughout her books); it's thought-provoking about life but funny and simple at the same time. You will probably get the same kind of vibe from the book, if you watch her shows. Some of her words echo my thoughts to an extent, surprisingly. I don't know if you agree or not, but I think reading helps you to find out about yourself (says a wise me, at least it applies for me in this phase of my life). And you may ask, what have I found out myself? Well...that is a tough question. I would not say I have uncovered everything about myself, but I started to reflect on my own views. I might have discovered that I am not the person most people think I am. How can I put this into words as neutrally? For example, people should not judge a book by its cover (so if you are thinking about something you believe about me, dig deeper). And behind every scar there is a story behind it. Perhaps, there is a fine line between pessimism and optimism. Maybe I'm stepping away from something because there was a history behind it, or I'd rather not watching history happen to me again. Maybe I'm just more sensitive but every little action makes or breaks things to me; but I trust my good old sense usually (it has been reliable in my life). Maybe it's human nature to be there first hand when something is 'happening' and also human nature to run away when there is something to be done. By that same token, I do my best to avoid such pitfalls and take calculated risks in my daily life, just like how I would view Courage and Empathy, for empty talks make me feel disappointed. But then again, is it because I choose not to inflict such pain on others that I have experienced, that they can never understand what I feel? Then it happens to me from the others again? What should I do? Let people feel it? Some people would probably brush these things off as old me overthinking, but why can't it be a case of you not thinking enough? I mean, I'm just trying to offer another perspective. Of course I understand people prefer to spend their lives doing other things compared to thinking, which is totally fine with me. But what happens if your actions and words cut someone else? (Figuratively.) I choose to believe that everyone has a decision to their words and actions, so all the things about being not conscious do not sound that convincing to me. I have bore the brunt of that, if you ever had realised. If you did realise, does that mean you are consciously choosing to act a certain way? Both are negative in my view, but the latter is worse. Then I should try to break away from this cycle. Do I know what brings out the best and worst in me? Yes, I do. And this point on the map is where I should not be, status quo, unless something changes. Ever since I posted somewhere about what a certain four letter means, I have been wondering whether that word has meant the same thing for all of us. Maybe it meant the same thing to you, just at a different point, a point in the past, and now it does not mean anything else. Did everything ever mean anything? If that's the case in which it does not mean anything, why do we want to drag other people into this, to take your place, again? I'm confused, or maybe it is just me. I don't like the idea of giving someone something I dislike, like say re-gifting a Christmas present for example. Why? Can someone explain this patiently? (I don't think anyone is patient enough, just getting with your life well could be good enough, oh well the human nature.) All these things keep running through my head, almost all the time that it makes me lost. But I don't think anyone understands. If only I could view it simply - if you like something you do it and vice versa. Sigh D: I usually listen to songs to get about such things, so I will post up some songs for a cold rainy day. I recently caught a glimpse of S Club 7 on youtube and found out all about them in the early 2000s, heard their songs and they are really good! I remember my seniors choreographed an item for us in Primary 2 using the song Reach. And they have got other songs such as Bring It All Back (which Jolin did), Never Had a Dream Come True, Don't Stop Movin', S Club Party etc 0 comment[s] | back to top |