你拉我拉， 你拉我拉， 一二拉。。。
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伤心、开心、难过、愉快
written on Sunday, March 30, 2008 @ 7:06 AM ✈
I haven't been online in days, a rare thing actually. Well, I had family problems, and I thought I was going to break down, after Wednesday, and Thursday. Thought that I was a shame, a failure, a useless person, according to someone. And everything bad in the world came onto me. Anger came onto him, I screwed up. He yelled. No more trusted, a horrid kid. I cried the first time in front of my squadmates, other than ct sqdms. (Thu) But it was also because of squadmates that I got myself back up, showing everyone that I can be better. Ma'ams talked to us yesterday and I was feeling totally ..(dunno how to say), I felt disappointment from ma'ams. I love being in CT a lot, I did not know how to express it, and I think I was quite selfish, because I let my personal stuff affect my mood for CT. But it is what we love doing, the thought of that keeps me going. I remember how I was filled with enthusiasm at the start, but was afraid to try all the new stuff that was unfamiliar to me. Still, I am really glad that I had CT in a small part of my life and yesterday I felt that we were going to keep going, not even stopping until the last second. We did our basha today in the morning, improved on our ponchos, experimented with new ways of tying, thought of new ideas, and after that, ma'ams dismissed us. I kinda like that basha =D, considering the timeframe, although it looked a bit like team one's. Clarissa had OM, so Puay Ling and Jacinta went pegging then at first I didn't want to, but after that I decided to. xD Well..we went to lunch, and we were talking a lot about CT at the beginning. Upon reaching home, I showered and got a call saying that we did not make it to the finals, but team one did. I felt a bit.."conflicted"? I was very happy that Team 1 got into the finals, the ultimate goal we had been aiming for, but I was disappointed and upset that Team 2 wasn't in the finals. Before I heard about the news, I was still thinking about the new basha all the way home, and now there is this strong tornado inside. It's like the 4 months long journey just stops, like a sudden fullstop. I had been expecting results on Monday, and I told myself to improve on the new basha. It's like dropping all our equipment all of the sudden. I should just go sleep and maybe when I wake up, I won't think so much. 0 comment[s] | back to top |